It makes so much sense living with your significant other on many counts you will get to spend more time with them, strengthen your relationship, split costs of loving, etc. However, living together as a couple is a step that should never be taken lightly. You and your spouse are two different people from your different backgrounds, raised in different conditions, etc. Therefore, you cannot expect them to behave the same way as you. It is important you know some vital things beforehand before you decide to live under the same roof with them. Hence, here are things you both should know before taking this critical step:
Knowing what marriage entails
The first thing you need to know before living together as a couple is to know what marriage entails. Many people do not have adequate information about marriage and hence, irrespective of how much they love each other, they find themselves in the midst of frictions that tear up their home. You should know that you would have to share your space with someone else who is different from you. Hence, tolerance must be emphasized. There are also many other topics about marriage that you must be versed on. This is why several institutions often organize marriage classes for intending couples and married couples that span weeks teaching them about what they should know about marriage from health tips, respect, sex, and other marriage tips. You should perfectly know what you are getting into so that things that will happen when you are in the marriage will not surprise you, shake you, frustrate you or depress you. You should also know that marriage requires a lot of sacrifice on the part of both individuals who make up the couple. If you are not ready for those sacrifices, it might be better to remain single.
Your sets of values
Congruence in values is key to your success in living together as a couple. You both must make an audit of your values and see if they are in tandem. For instance, if you are spiritual and you will like for your partner to be on the same spiritual level as you, you will not enjoy living together as a couple if your spouse is someone who has no regard for things beyond the physical.
If you are the type that seeks out friends and family and like to be in their company as much as possible, you will not do well with a spouse who likes to be isolated and desires that their partner stay Indoors with them. In other words, you must make sure your spouse is on the same page as you in matters such as finances, personal development, spirituality, family life, etc. If you find it difficult to agree on anything and do something together, it is a pointer that your relationship will not last.
Before you agree to live with anyone, you must know the condition of their health and vice versa. You both should go to a hospital for a full medical checkup to confirm if you are fit. For instance, a sickle cell carrier cannot marry another sickle cell carrier; that would be a disaster for the family. You and your partner must check if your blood genotypes can mix without any issue and if any of you has a life-threatening condition that can take its toll on the other person as well.
Never get married to someone who keeps the details of their health status from you. For instance, imagine how painful it would be to find out that your partner has a sexually transmitted disease which they kept from you and eventually infected you with. Knowing the health condition of your partner helps you calculate beforehand if you can bear the cost and if your safety is guaranteed.
Your vision and direction for the future
In as much as you want to enjoy yourself today with your partner, it is important that you both think about the future. Do your visions and expectations for the future complement each other? Are you working towards the same ultimate goals?
For instance, there would be a gap in your relationship if you are working towards retiring in the countryside and enjoying yourself while your partner has dreams of jumping flights from one country to the other at that age. Also, if it Is your dream to take in the orphans of the society and guide them aright while your partner does not like things, being together as a couple, your short-term and long-term goals must be in the same direction.
Your views about family and friends’ interference in your marriage
If your marriage is to work, you and your partner must put your family and friends in their place. Unnecessary interference by third parties will cripple your marriage in its early stage. You cannot afford to have them pass comments about your spouse because they feel like. Your spouse deserves the same level of respect that is accorded to you. This is not about shutting your family and friends out of your life, it simply means not allowing them to cause rife between you and your partner.
But at the same time, you need the support of your partner to present a united stand. If your partner sees nothing wrong in their siblings treating you like a disdainful manner or with their parents controlling their actions towards you, you may need to pause your moves to live together and review the relationship. Staying together with your spouse as a couple demands a lot of sacrifices on both part, and you must be willing to pay it if you want a successful relationship.